Inauguration Day 2009

I am not committing to any political party nor am I placing any hope or lack of hope in anyone who represents such. I believe that healing the world of the crises we have learned to face every day of our lives must come from a Power much higher than earthling man and on that subject I am no authority, just someone who is hopeful. However, I do find history to be a fascinating subject in that it is a standing record of the journeys of our ancestors to this moment in time where we stand as handed down through the generations by our forefathers.

Who can dispute the fact that today is an historic day in American history? The 44th President of the United States is being sworn into office today, a fact that will naturally be placed into the annals of history in and of itself. However, what sets this particular inauguration apart from all others is that the 44th President of the U.S. is a black man, which is something that many people would never have foreseen only 60 years ago. People seem to be intrigued by that. Still it is a definite testament to the fact that there has been a great deal of forward movement and change in this country. In stressing the importance he feels toward this event to everyone at work this morning, our CEO sent out a memo stating that all meeting rooms would be forfeiting their planned meeting schedules in order that “all conference rooms throughout our facility will be set up as viewing rooms for today’s event.” And true to nature, many within the organization did take the time out to stop and view the ceremony, myself included.

As I listened to President Obama’s speech, I noticed that he seemed to speak with sincerity as he expressed his high hopes for the recovery of our wounded country which has been stressed to the limit and is ready to rip apart at the seems. However, though I want to believe it can happen, I am skeptical that any man can “fix” us. It is apparent that we have not done so well in directing our own steps to date. The world is in constant turmoil and though we try to go on with our lives and make the best of it, both the constant and the new adversities, like water, always have a way of seeping down through the cracks onto us individually. So where do we run when the water gets too high? What mountain will be high enough to protect us from ourselves? We all want the same things basically…the basic comforts for our families, food on the table, a home in which we can feel safe and live peacefully with an opportunity for productive and fairly compensated work that will allow us to achieve our dreams in life. We want to be able to hold up our heads and be proud of our accomplishments in a world that will allow us to live freely. No able-bodied man or woman should have to face the indignity of not being able to provide at least the basic necessities for their loved ones.

I wish we could say it was as easy as changing leadership to fix us, but I fear it will take much more. What I can say is that it is good to feel a sense of unity among the American people today, a unity that I don't remember ever really feeling in the past. It feels good to see people united and working toward a better life for all of us. My hope is that this will inspire more people to realize that they can dream and that their dreams can come true! Hopefully we have opened the door to that end result.

Peace...

Friday night... or early Saturday morning

Here I sit in this house of dark walls and dim lights, the television barely audible...I leave it on so that I can see a face on the screen...that way I don't feel like I'm home alone. I'm listening to the ticking of two clocks hanging on two separate walls. Funny thing is, they are not ticking in unison, which says to me that they are probably not giving the correct time either. I guess if you want the correct time, you don't rely on a battery operated device hanging on your wall, rather you check your cell phone to know what time it really is.

So, besides that, what's happening with me? Not so much. I did take notice of something breathtaking when I got out of my car tonight after work. The moon had risen in the East in such a gloriously beautiful full white glowing circle of light against a clear blue-black sky that I had to stop in my tracks and stare at it. It was spectacular...a picture, but worth so much more than a 1000 words! I wish I had taken a picture of it, but my little Sony camera would not have done it justice with my humble 3X zoom lens. There was not a single cloud to obscure the view either and with a crisp 40 degree temperature in the air (which I adore), I thought I had died and gone to heaven for just a brief moment.

There is a dog barking in the neighborhood. Every night the little guy barks. I fear he has a neurotic side that causes him distress so much so that he feels compelled to make it known to the entire neighborhood. Perhaps it is the "kids" who live down the street in the college dorms walking down the street or maybe it is a stray cat that upsets him. Perhaps he is just being protective of his home. Whatever the case, he's very vocal about it.

So, how about the economy! I wonder why we can't we just print tons more worthless paper money and pass it out to everyone of us and let us all have a field day spending it on whatever we want, instead of worrying about which corporations to bail out when all that their top dogs know is extravagance for themselves first. Oh yea, they will hang their heads and slyly ditch the luxuries for now (at least outwardly) in a last ditch effort to try and get a handout. Isn't it always the "little guy" who gets stuck with the short end of the stick while the "big man" gets to sip champagne and live in the lap of luxury? There is an old saying that "money talks"...well I can't hear anything.

Where is everyone? Where is the noise that I miss around this house? The silence is irritating. Is that what you get to look forward to in the 2nd half?...blah! Funny how life changes, isn't it? Even the dog stopped barking.

Tomorrow night, I have a party to attend. Maybe I'll just have to paint on that happy face I love so much and kick it up a notch...go crazy with my bad self... whooohoooo PAAAARTTAAAYYYY! umm, yea.

Well, 'nuf of this stuff for one night. I'm starting to sound just like one of those Lifetime movies I watch.

Hope everyone is happy and healthy out there...miss ya, hug ya, love ya!

Ciao!

Tis the season... for stressing

It's hard to believe that another year is almost gone. With the passing of Thanksgiving, everyone seems to warp into extreme shopping mode and to me it seems that there is little to be seen of the joy of the season on peoples' faces as they rush around trying to find the perfect gifts for friends and family...some feeling obligated to spend money they don't have making it obligatory giving at best it seems. One thing I have never quite understood about the whole thing is why, given the meaning of the observance, is so much emphasis put on buying gifts for each other? Shouldn't there be something or someone more important on people's minds than the materialistic aspect of it? And to cast an even darker shadow, the economy this year is sure to cause even more stress as everyone tries to please with less.

Maybe what I really don't like about the whole thing is that we are approaching the end of another year and life is speeding past us and there is nothing we can do to slow it down. Seems like the older you get, thoughts of the inevitable become more of a haunting reality than thoughts that were once reserved for the distant future. We rush through life like a raging river, carving our path of memories that will last only as long as we do.

Bah humbug :*(

So, I guess...

...we (meaning Lauren and I) are settling into our new life minus half of us. I see now how all the Mothers do it. They just do, because they have to. And I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't sure I could do it without feeling sad every second of the day. To my surprise, I am holding up quite well thanks to my telephone and emails back and forth. Thankfully, due to our strong will to survive and prosper in this life, there is something inside us that keeps prodding us to move along with our lives and find things to fill the empty spaces that are vacated by those who must leave us. Of course, I use the term "leave us" in a totally respective manner... leaving does not always denote a lack of love... on the contrary, it sometimes encourages us to love even more because absence does make the heart grow fonder. It is rather nice to think of it as having the freedom to live our own life and being able to do so without feeling trapped or guilty about it. I so hate that feeling, so I wouldn't want to impose that feeling on anyone else. There is something to be said for freedom and the ability to make choices that are based on our own personal wants and needs.

So, a random thought...now that my obsession with Dancing With the Stars has ended for this season and my "choice" did not win, Lance and Lacey if you must know (because of their originality), I suppose I will now focus my attention on something a little more pertinant and important... like knitting...nah, just kidding.

On that note, I shall hit the hay, and as they say in the South...

goodnight and sweet dreams

I love the cold...

I think I love it because it gives me a sharper awareness. I have always loved the seasons and the changes in the weather, especially the fall and winter months. It touches my soul in a way that no other time of year does. It just makes me feel good... it awakens my need to experience all the things I love about it... the leaves changing, hot chocolate and fires in the fireplace, the smell is intoxicating....snuggling under blankets... and the crisp chill in the air sparks a much needed energy in me that I crave. I feel so much more alive when it's cold!

Today's thoughts

I'm still feeling the sadness. I called Kristen after lunch today to see where they were and she said they were in the yellow/brown rolling hills of Illinois... that seems so darn far away!! because it is. They spent last night in Nashville, checked out the Grand Ole Opry, which by the way is awesome she said. I had planned on going there with her one day to try and peddle her music/vox but we never made it there together... not yet anyway.

Sooooo... on the cusp of yet another life changing event, I find it surprisingly hard to walk into her bedroom and not immediately feel a strong sense of emptiness and aching... her room is quiet and emptied of all her precious belongings, except for the few things that would not fit in their car and the mover's pod they rented and those that she felt she could now live without. I get that huge lump in my throat, the strong urge to hug her tightly and the tears begin to flow. All the sweet memories locked in my mind of her childhood come rushing to my head and it becomes overwhelming to stay in there. I have to leave and close the door. I know this is only a temporary insanity that I must accept and overcome, but nonetheless it is a real hurdle for me. I MISS HER and her smile, her hugs, her smell, her voice, her presence. I hope it doesn't take me too long to get used to this.

I have my Lauren at home, for a while longer. I don't know what I am going to do when she leaves too.

Life is so strange.

The Day After the Wedding...

The wedding went off without a hitch... it was one of the most beautiful displays of love and affection that I have seen between two people in love. It was my daughter's wedding to her boyfriend of 7 years. She was happy to finally tie the knot with the love of her life and so was he. They had a beach wedding at sunset. The day had been beautiful, cool and breezy. The sun set in a glorious blue/orange display... one of those rare bright orange sunsets that everyone stands in awe of, the kind of sunset that keeps you staring until the very last glimmer of light dips into the horizon.

The bridal party consisted of the bride and groom, maid of honor and best man, and two more sets of bridesmaids/groomsmen. They walked in a procession between drapes of tulle and deep purple hydrangeas through the soft silky sands of Clearwater Beach and to promise themselves in love to each other for life. My daughter was beautiful in her hand made wedding dress that she meticulously spent hours designing and constructing. My adorable son-in-law broke into tears halfway through his vows and that started the tears rolling down everyone's cheeks. It was a beautiful ceremony in a breathtaking setting amongst family and special friends who have shared their lives the most closely. It feels good to know that their union is now set before God and everyone. They are one, they are in love. That is the most that I could have wished for my daughter... that she find true love, and I believe she did. I wish them the absolute best that life can give them and I pray that the love they have today for each other only continues to grow throughout the years as they continue their journey through life together.